Shortly after I woke up this morning, I found my mind wrestling with the same issue I thought I had resolved for myself before I went to sleep. Only now I realized what I thought of as a resolution was really me just telling myself that I "should" let it go. I don't know about you, but just telling myself to let something go rarely works for me. In fact, what actually happens when I try to let something go is that I bury it deep and pretend it doesn't bother me until I realize that's a lie and then I'm right back to square one.
So letting go of the situation wasn't going to happen but I also didn't want to just keep going over and over it in my mind. I had already talked to a friend about it and in this case, it just gave me someone else's input to add to the thoughts I was wrestling with.
So I stopped wrestling. I took a deep breath and got my mind as quiet as I could and asked with my heart, "What do I do?"
"Use the tools you have," was the advice my spirit gave me.
I sat up and tuned into my body and mind, assessing where the discomfort and restlessness was and then began tapping on my karate chop point ...
As I tapped I tried to think of what Lorie would say if she were leading the tapping and surprised myself with the level of insight and compassion for myself I was able to access. It was such a shift from the more negative self talk I was engaging in just moments before!
It didn't take long for me to do this practice and I felt worlds better afterwards. Not only did I feel more at peace with the situation I was dealing with, I was proud of myself for practicing what I preach and also felt validated by the effectiveness of it. But why did I not do this in the first place? I couldn't help but wonder. Why is there always so much resistance to work through before I am moved to use these tools that I have?
I found myself grateful for our group meetings and how attending them had given me the knowledge, tools and experience to do this for myself. In many ways showing up to these meetings has been like showing up to a gym. I don't always feel like doing the work but I know once I show up there, I will have no choice and that once I'm done, I'll be glad that I did it. What I needed, I decided, was more motivation like that. But we only had tapping meetings once a week. What else could I do to motivate myself to put in the work I need to do for my own healing?
And that's when I remembered that I didn't need more "gym visits" because I just happened to know a kick ass "personal trainer". I got out my phone and immediately booked a coaching session with Lorie for later today.
Of course I am very blessed to have all these tools and resources and a wonderful friend in my life and yet I haven't been taking full advantage of them. The real obstacle to my own healing really has been my own willingness.
The willingness to heal is an essential tool that is available to everyone. Are you using yours? I think that if you do, you'll find the other tools you need will appear too.